Who Doesn’t Like Wetchix?
It’s the beginning of a new era…… the Wetchix and Chill era!
Offensive Wetchix T-Shirt:
Probably the same scum bag that surfs the hub late night with a crusty tank top in one hand and a pump top bottle of Jergens in his right. Yeah, that ol’dirt bag that still has his VHS collection of Girls Gone Wild in a shoe box underneath his bed. Maybe he lives with his momma still, or maybe he rents some dump downtown and lives off of a fast food menu.
Guess what….. if that’s what you thought…… then you thought wrong ding-dong!
This brilliant custom t-shirt concept was thunk up by a real lady. Yup, she swung by the sweat shop one day looking for some offensive Angst T-Shirts for her and her pillow fighting girlfriends. Turns out they were having a slumber party and wanted to rock some offensive, degrading attire while they pummeled each other with fluffy pillows.
Well, it’s always been our goal to offend…. but never to disappoint. When she discovered we had nothing sexist and degrading to women in our inventory of inappropriate t-shirts she became disappointed and ran off to her vehicle. Now, I assumed she was grabbing a gun…. so I grabbed mine and prepared myself to pistol whip this young lady unconscious . Well, when she returned it wasn’t a gun she brought back with her….. nope, she came back with a 16 inch rubber dildo and proceeded to assault me in the neck with it. A few hits to the head would have been acceptable, but that rubber dick to the adams apple fucking hurt! Well, she continued beat’n that thing against my throat like I was Mia Khalifa….. and then my legs buckled and I crashed to the floor.
As I laid there in a semi-conscious daze, staring up at her, visions of the rubber wiener beat’n ran through my head… I regained consciousness and rose to my feet. I apologized for the disappointment, I apologized for not having anything in inventory that was degrading to women and promised her an increase in new offensive t-shirt designs. She smiled at me, then asked if I would assist her in conceptualizing a shirt for her upcoming slumber party, not one to argue with a woman with big boobs and a rubber dick… I obliged. I grabbed me a banquette beer and the think’n juices started flowing.
I asked her some real intellectual questions like, “what do you girls like to do”?….. Her response, “Netflix and Chill”. As you can imagine it suddenly became very hard to focus, my left frontal lobe was still processing the rubber pecker beat’n, while my right frontal lobe was trying not to be distracted by her commentary.
Well, this classy broad must have been a poet…. a real Emily Dickinson at heart. As I scratched my head trying to come up with something offensive and degrading, she mutters… Wetchix. WTF I thought? She proceeded to say “Wetchix… it rhymes with Netflix and we’re all about chill’n”. Now, I wasn’t about to argue with her, I went straight to the drawing board and drew it out W-E-T-C-H-I-X… brilliant! I printed 10 shirts that night and she left with 9, I still wear that 10th shirt weekly as a reminder to myself of how fucking awesome this job is.
And that my friends is how the Wetchix Angst custom t-shirt was born.
We hope you rock yours with pride, hopefully you don’t have to suffer the same abuse I did in order to enjoy the complexity of this fine garment.
Thanks for your support.
Til next time.